The Onion
WASHINGTON—Three days after a sulking Timothy Geithner climbed to the top of the U.S. Capitol dome, the treasury secretary remained steadfast Monday in his refusal to come down. "You all hate me," said Geithner, his arms crossed as he shouted at the crowd of onlookers gathered on the Capitol lawn below. "What do you care if I stay up here? You'll just make fun of me if I come down anyway. Well, I'm not coming down—not ever!" Federal security teams monitoring the situation said they believed Geithner might be planning an extended stay atop the dome, as evidenced by what appeared to be a burlap sack containing various snacks, a six-pack of root beer, and several copies of The Economist.
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