Geithner might be leaving and it took The Onion for Grandpa to realize I have been a bit hard on "The Geithner."

Word on the street is that Turbo Tax Timmy is considering leaving his position as Treasury Secretary albeit: “I live for this work,” he said at the Clinton Global Initiative in Chicago. “It’s the only thing I’ve ever done. I believe in it. We have a lot of challenges as a country. I’m going to be doing it for the foreseeable future.”

Grandpa wishes Mr. Geithner a speedy departure and I am sure we have not seen nor heard the last of Tim Geithner. Who knows, given the political machine in D.C., Mr. Geithner might end of with Goldman Sachs offering tax advice to the Lord himself, Lloyd Blankfein.


Whooda Thunk It, it took rereading The Onion for Grandpa to realize that maybe, just maybe I have been a bit hard on "The Geithner."

First Grandma, Treasury Secretary Geithner Up

All Night Talking, Laughing

February 11, 2009
ISSUE 45•07

WASHINGTON—Accounts from several White House staffers suggest Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner and the president's live-in mother-in-law, Marian Robinson, have developed an unlikely bond, meeting nearly every night by the Green Room fireplace after Geithner has finished his daily economic briefing and Robinson has put her granddaughters Sasha and Malia to bed.

"They're generations apart, but they've really hit it off," said aide Jennifer Bronner, who often sees the 71-year-old retiree from Chicago's South Side and the 47-year-old overseer of the nation's economy spend hours giggling and whispering together late into the night. "Last night I heard [Robinson] call Secretary Geithner 'Honeybee' when she offered him one of her famous chocolate-chip walnut cookies and a mug of hot cocoa.

They share something that would warm the heart of even the most jaded old cynic." Despite his uphill battle against a worsening recession and failing global markets, Geithner's midnight chats with Robinson have reportedly taught him to take life one day at a time, not sweat the small stuff, and always save old nylons so they can be filled with potpourri and used to freshen sock drawers.

Geithner Refuses To Come Down Off Capitol Dome

February 22, 2010
ISSUE 46•08

WASHINGTON—Three days after a sulking Timothy Geithner climbed to the top of the U.S. Capitol dome, the treasury secretary remained steadfast Monday in his refusal to come down. "You all hate me," said Geithner, his arms crossed as he shouted at the crowd of onlookers gathered on the Capitol lawn below. "What do you care if I stay up here? You'll just make fun of me if I come down anyway. Well, I'm not coming down—not ever!" Federal security teams monitoring the situation said they believed Geithner might be planning an extended stay atop the dome, as evidenced by what appeared to be a burlap sack containing various snacks, a six-pack of root beer, and several copies of The Economist.

Cheney Dunk Tank Raises $800 Billion For Nation

February 2, 2009
ISSUE 45•06

WASHINGTON—Organizers reported Sunday that the 44th White House Carnival was a rousing success, raising a record $800,000,066,845 for the federal government—$800 billion of which came from a dunk tank featuring former vice president Dick Cheney.

According to Secretary of the Treasury and carnival volunteer Timothy Geithner, the 5-foot-deep tank has provided a much-needed boost to the nation's flagging economy.

"We expected a big turn out, but this is unbelievable," said Geithner, adding that it's tradition for the outgoing vice president to work the dunk tank. "More than half the country has already gone, and there's still about 20 million people stretching all the way to Maryland waiting for their chance to sink Cheney. We'll be leaving this booth open for as long as it takes for everyone to get a turn." Peel back more of The Onion.

Geithner told associates he needs a break from government service after dealing with the turmoil that followed the collapse of Wall Street firms, including Bear Stearns Cos. and Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. Take all the time you need Mr. Geithner...the grandchildren feel your pain.