Video of Stephen Colbert's testimony before congress: "I break out into a cold sweat when I see a salad bar.”

“Please don’t make me do this again, it is really, really hard,”

Colbert said of his day in the fields. “Most soil is at ground level.

If we can put a man on the moon, how come we can’t

make the earth waist-high. Come on, where is the funding?!”

Marin Cogan
Politico
9/24/10

Comedian Stephen Colbert played it straight in testimony he prepared for a House subcommittee Friday – then immediately strayed from his script for laughs.

“This is America,” the Comedy Central host told the House Judiciary Committee’s subcommittee on immigration. “I don’t want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, sliced by a Guatemalan, and then served by a Brazilian.”

“I understand many Democrats may be looking for work come November,” he continued.

In his prepared testimony, the Comedy Central host said that he’d become interested in farmworker issues after the president of the United Farm Workers appeared on his show, and he spent a day in the fields.

“Joined by Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren — longtime advocate for farmworkers’ rights — I traveled to upstate New York where I spent 10 hours picking beans, packing corn and learning about the stark reality facing American Farms and farmers,” the Comedy Central host was to say in his opening statement before the immigration subcommittee of the House Judiciary Committee. “I learned that many farms are closing, growers are planting less or switching to other crops, and the production of fresh foods and vegetables is moving abroad.”

"They say that you truly know a man after you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, and while I have nowhere near the hardships of these struggling immigrants, I have been granted a sliver of insight,” he said in prepared remarks.

Before Colbert could speak, Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.) praised “The Colbert Report” — and then asked whether the comedian would be willing to submit his testimony in writing and leave the hearing without speaking.

Some in the room gasped. Colbert muttered into the mic, “No hablo Ingles,” before straightening up and asking Lofgren, the subcommittee chairwoman, if she prefered that he leave the room. She did not.

Conyers subsequently withdrew his request, and Colbert began speaking — quickly moving past his somber prepared remarks in favor of the sort of comedy featured on his show.

“Please don’t make me do this again, it is really, really hard,” Colbert said of his day in the fields. “Most soil is at ground level. If we can put a man on the moon, how come we can’t make the earth waist-high. Come on, where is the funding?!” Politico


 

Ted Poe: Illegal Immigrants are like Grasshoppers????????

"Now it seems to me that if we are so advanced with technology and manpower and competence that we can capture illegal grasshoppers from Brazil, in the holds of ships that are in a little small place in Port Arthur, Texas on the Sabine River. Sabine River, madam speaker, is the river that separates Texas from Louisiana. If we're able to do that as a country, how come we can't capture the thousands of people that cross the border everyday on the southern border of the United States? You know they're a little bigger than grasshoppers and they should be able to be captured easier.

Results of grandpa's Friday afternoon

research on Mr. Poe:

Ted's Favorite Movie and has it in VHS and Blu Ray

Ted Poe Campaign Headquarters in Humble, TX

Ted Poe's Campaign Manager

Ted's Best Friend from High School as

he always had Ted's backside covered

In his youth, Ted was an accomplished guitar player.

Ted loves his weekend Humble, TX auto swap meets

Jon Stewart on AZ Immigration Law...AZ, the meth lab of Democracy

Jon Stewart and the AZ Immigration Law. The law is very clear, the police will only check people who are reasonably suspicious. The State of AZ had a most productive week passing new legislation as they are the meth lab of democracy. White people need to burp their babies.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Law & Border
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Arizona's Immigration Law and Grandpa secured a copy of the unofficial training manual

Under the recently signed Arizona law, police must stop people on “reasonable suspicion” that they might be undocumented immigrants. If they’re not carrying a valid driver’s license or identification papers, police could make an arrest.

The governor (Jan Brewer) pointed out, both in her statement and the executive order, that the new law prohibits police from using race or ethnicity as the sole factor in determining whether to pursue an inquiry. But she conceded that it does permit either to be used as one factor for an officer's consideration. And she defended the language. "We have to trust our law enforcement,'' Brewer said. "It's a simple reality.''

Vigilant Grandpa received a copy of an unofficial Law Enforcement Racial Profiling Training Manual from an anonymous source familiar with the program. The following cutouts will be placed in a variety of unmarked vehicles strategically parked along public roadways and public parking lots in and around the Phoenix area.

Law enforcement trainees will be given clues as to the general location of each vehicle and once located; each trainee will have 12 seconds to rate the “suspicious level” of each cutout and enter their “final answer” into the onboard profiling computer. NOTE: using a “lifeline” is not a provision in the new law.

Sampling of  "Profiling Cutouts"