Mr. "I reject the word compromise" Boehner's budget reduces debt on our grandchildrens' back by a pathetic $850 billion over 10 years

Yes grandchildren, the same man who rejects the word compromise, yet voted yes to an Iraq Shock and Awe (while voting yes to make the Bush tax cuts permanent), will not let his buddies to pay for Shock and Awe (a.k.a. pass it along to the grandchildren), is tightly bound to his lobbyist friends, votes yes to bail out banks via TARP,  and then drafts a budget that removes $850 billion (6% of our current deficit) off your back over 10 years. This is the same Mr. "reject compromise" that grew up in a family of 12 children (including sisters) with one bathroom.

Grandpa remains party agnostic. Take Harry Reid's budget for example...smoke and mirrors and he too does not care about what debt ultimately ends up on the backs of our grandchildren. Grandpa's bottom line (no pun intended): you can wrap a box full of dog poo in Red State paper or Blue State paper and it does not change the gooey mess in the box let alone the stench.

The Hill
By Erik Wasson
7/26/11

The Congressional Budget Office has told House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) that his debt ceiling fallback plan will reduce the deficit by about $850 billion over ten years.

House GOP rank-and-file have been waiting eagerly for the score since they are worried the bill would not measure up to claims made about it by House leadership. Leadership on Monday said the bill would reduce discretionary spending by $1.2 trillion over ten years.

The CBO revealed the score in a Tuesday letter to the speaker.

The score is against the latest CBO baseline as adjusted to reflect the 2011 spending cuts deal between Congress and the White House that cut $38 billion in budget authority. Those 2011 cuts have ripple effects over the budget window.

The CBO has also determined that taking that earlier deal into account, the spending levels in the Boehner plan is a $1.1 trillion cut in the deficit.

Most of the effects of the Boehner plan come from caps it imposes on discretionary spending. Next year the cap is $1.043 trillion, a $6 billion drop from current levels.

Actual federal spending outlays in the ten-year period would be reduced by $710 billion relative to that March baseline, CBO says, if the discretionary spending caps in the Boehner plan are instituted.

Overall, savings in discretionary spending is cut $695 billion, mandatory spending is cut by $20 billion, and the savings in interest equals $135 billion.

CBO also looked at other more minor provisions in the Boehner bill. One would provide extra funding for Pell Grants to students and this costs $17 billion, while another would limit other student loans saving over $30 billion.

The Boehner plan is a two-step process whereby the debt ceiling would be raised before Aug. 2 and then again next year.

The CBO score reflects part one of the process, which grants President Obama the right to request a $900 billion increase in the debt ceiling, slightly more than the amount CBO says the Boehner plan cuts from combined deficits compared to the March baseline.

Boehner this spring said Congress would only raise the debt ceiling if spending cuts exceed the amount by which the debt ceiling is raised.

CBO does not assign a score to the second phase of the Boehner plan which would require a joint committee to come up with a plan to cut $1.8 trillion from the deficit by Nov. 23.

Running Out of Runway...next time you fly, ask pilot if he/she rejects "compromise"

USA Watchdog
July 25, 2011
By: Greg Hunter

It looks like even the mainstream media (MSM) can see a calamity if we are right on top of one. Finally, the dire debt ceiling negotiations between Congress and the White House were covered wall-to-wall on all the major media outlets yesterday. No comment better describes the frightful situation America faces over its debt problem than what Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner said yesterday on FOX, “. . . we’re running out of runway. I never thought they would take it this close to the edge and let politics get in the way of demonstrating we will pay our bills on time.” To extend that metaphor, even if the debt ceiling is reached just before the August 2^nd deadline, doesn’t mean the government can get enough altitude to clear the trees. It will take some time to implement the new bill, and time is very short.

Meetings in the nation’s capital yesterday did not produce a bill that can garner approval of the House, Senate and President. At the open of the Asian markets overseas, gold was up $20 an ounce in the first hour of trading. It hit another record high (with many more to come.) Who knows if the yellow metal will hold onto the gains, but that amounts to a giant vote of no confidence from overseas consumers of our dollar and debt. 

Remember, there are $12 trillion in liquid assets (treasury bonds and dollars) held outside the country. A panic over the stalled debt talks in the United States could cause massive selling of those assets. Interest rates would spike and the value of the dollar would plunge. It would cause immediate pain for U.S. consumers and could disrupt markets worldwide. The stakes in Washington D.C. couldn’t be higher. What has been called a “cloud of default” could start hurling thunder bolts and producing torrential rain in the global economy.

To say the Democrats and Republicans are not on the same page is an understatement—they’re not on the same planet. The argument between raising taxes and cutting spending has morphed. It now includes a “must do” deal to take negotiations on raising the debt ceiling out of 2012 elections. When the idea of a short-term debt increase was posed to White House Chief of Staff Bill Daley on “Meet the Press” yesterday, it was soundly shot down. Host David Gregory asked, if “The President would veto a plan if it does not extend the debt ceiling into 2013?” Daley quickly said, “Yes.”

Meanwhile, over on FOX, Speaker of the House John Boehner said, “I think the better path forward at this moment will be … to put together a process that’s doable.” He’s basically talking about a short-term Republican plan that cuts some spending and pushes the debt ceiling up enough to pay the nations bills until the end of this year. I don’t think the President will think that is “doable.” That means no so-called “grand plan” and more debt ceiling debates in 2012. Mr. Boehner says he will announce details of that plan on Monday. On the other hand, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is getting a different plan together on the Democratic side. It will reportedly cut the budget and raise the debt ceiling until after the 2012 November elections. Does it sound like a deal is coming together to you? Not to me.

Maybe that’s why the host of “FOX News Sunday,” Chris Wallace, asked Secretary Geithner yesterday, “What’s your plan for default?” Geithner has already admitted he recently had meetings about this very subject with Fed Chief Ben Bernanke and others. Mr. Geithner responded, “Our plan is to get Congress to raise the debt ceiling on time . . . we do not have the ability to protect the American people from the consequences of Congress not taking action.” According to Geithner, 80 million checks a month are sent out by the government. The U.S. borrows 42% of every dollar it spends, and a short-term default to some will happen. Geithner repeatedly sidestepped the question of who will get paid and who will not. I think Treasury debt, Social Security and the military will all get paid, but plenty of other commitments will not be.

I do not see how you tackle a debt problem by adding trillions of new debt. I do not mean to sound like a Republican, but spending is the problem. So where can you make some big cuts? Neither party is talking about cutting spending for the military. The U.S. spends more on defense than all other countries—combined. I am not anti-military, but do we really need to start another war in Libya? Do we really need to have bases in Korea and Europe? Both parties are also mum on the continuing banker bailouts through Fannie and Freddie. Why do taxpayers get the bill for $trillions in sour mortgage debt pumped into the failed mortgage giants by the big Wall Street banks? Not a word about that by either party, let alone prosecutions. To top it off, the big banks are in the process of negotiating immunity for their crimes! You think I am kidding? (Click Here)  Literally trillions could be cut in both areas, but that’s not what the debate is about. Don’t expect the MSM to point that out because they all will get big bucks in political advertising for the 2012 election.

Most people are living like they are in the “blue pill” world of a Matrix movie. I keep having this vision of a slow motion crash, and then, all of a sudden, someone flips a switch and bam!–we are at the speed of real life. It’s sure looking like that switch is going to be flipped right around the beginning of August.

John Boehner (I reject the word compromise) would still be paid if government shuts down

Unlike the president and legislators,

military personnel and essential federal

employees who stay on the job would

have to wait until government spending

authority is restored to get salaries and wages.

By Julianna Goldman
April 7 (Bloomberg) -- As tomorrow night’s deadline for avoiding a government shutdown nears, about 800,000 “non- essential” federal workers face the prospect of getting no pay at all for time lost to the political impasse.

Elected officials, including Republican House Speaker John Boehner, Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and President Barack Obama, all would be paid as usual during a shutdown, unless Congress changes the law. Soldiers, law enforcement officers and other government employees whose jobs are deemed essential would continue to work yet wouldn’t get paychecks until the budget standoff is resolved.

Workers furloughed as non-essential, however, aren’t guaranteed that they’ll be paid at all for time off when the government closes for business. While they’ve ultimately received back pay after previous shutdowns, it’s up to Congress to “determine whether ‘non-excepted’ employees receive pay for the furlough period,” according to a U.S. Office of Personnel Management website providing guidance and information on furloughs.

“It is unknown whether legislation will ultimately be passed” to make up lost pay, says a sample letter to non- essential employees prepared by the Committee on House Administration. “We wish that we could provide you with more guidance on this issue but, due to the fluid nature of the situation, we cannot.”

A ‘Non-Starter’

The Republican-controlled U.S. House approved a stopgap spending bill today to keep the government open through next week. Obama said he’d veto the measure, which would cut an additional $12 billion in spending this year and fund the Pentagon at current levels through Sept. 30. Reid called the bill a “nonstarter.”

Boehner and Reid returned to the White House this afternoon for negotiations that didn’t produce an agreement. The government’s current spending authority is set to expire at midnight tomorrow.

“A shutdown could have real effects on everyday Americans,” Obama said late last night at the White House after a meeting where Boehner and Reid failed to reach an agreement.

“It means that hundreds of thousands of workers across the country suddenly are without a paycheck. Their families are counting on them being able to go to work and do a good job.”

Docking Pay
The Senate has passed a measure to dock the pay of lawmakers for the duration of a shutdown. A House measure, part of the largely symbolic Prevention of Government Shutdown Act approved last week, would dock the pay of the president in addition to members of Congress. Neither proposal has taken effect.

Members of Congress “shouldn’t be getting paid, just like federal employees shouldn’t be getting paid” during a shutdown, Boehner said today on ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

Freshman Democratic Senator Joe Manchin, of West Virginia, said in a statement on his website that he would forgo his salary during a government shutdown and challenged colleagues to do the same thing.

“The bottom line is this: I can’t imagine that the president, vice president or any member of Congress -- Republican or Democrat -- thinks they should get paid when the government has shut down,” Manchin said. Complete Article

Harry Reid...The final election in pictures

I really need Michelle but I'm not sure given

the light skinned  thing...

You're going to send Michelle? Really?

You Rock and I am really sorry about that entire

thing about “light-skinned” and “no Negro dialect,

unless you wanted to have one.”

I know, I know, Harry Reid is a putz and it is time for him to visit

the pasture, but just go out there and rally the troops for me...

...and there will be something in it for you...promise...

Elbows out Reid...and find your center...

lose the belt...and quit leaning...focus!

I watched Star Trek and the Spock thing really seemed to work...

...sorry about the whole debt thing we dumped on you...

I spent over $6 million on ads and Sharon's

bus is still in front of me...think of something!

Tuesday morning briefing...

Election results coming in...

"Bus Driver, MOVE THAT BUS!"

Wednesday Morning

Best of luck Harry and Michelle sends her best and

still wants you to find your center...we will miss you...

Americans really believes things will be so different...

A Pledge to America is simply a dusting product.

You gotta love America...

Sunday Comics (Harry Reid, Apple, Angelo Mozilo, Bachman, Bernanke Biden)

Harry Reid (blue shirt guy): "We found ourselves in a

hole that I didn't dig, but I have dug, dug and dug

to try to get out of that hole."

Harry Reid: 'You know, but for me we'd be in a

worldwide depression.'

 They want to know what I have done for them."

Melinda Gates...not in our house..

We are a Zune family...

Option 1: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

Opiton 2: Settle fraud charges brought by SEC for

$67.5 million without admitting or denying any wrongdoing

Michele Bachmann: "Obama heads what has become

a "gangster government."

Daily U.S. Stock Market Trading Volume

Bernanke's Quantitative Easing Impact on

Grandchildrens' Allowance (not real funny Ben)

Joe Biden: "the administration is willing to compromise

on Bush-era tax cuts if Republicans are willing to

make their own sacrifices."

Congressional Staffers Gain From Trading in Stocks...and naturally it is not illegal, just congressional folks taking care of their underlings...GOOD LUCK MAIN STREET!!!

Chris Miller nearly doubled his $3,500 stock

investment in a renewable-energy firm

in 2008. It was a perfectly legal bet'

but he's no ordinary investor.

At least 72 aides on both sides

of the aisle traded shares of

companies that their bosses help oversee

By Brody Mullins, Tom McGinty and Jason Zweig
The Wall Street Journal
10/11/10 

WASHINGTON—Chris Miller nearly doubled his $3,500 stock investment in a renewable-energy firm in 2008. It was a perfectly legal bet, but he's no ordinary investor.

Mr. Miller is the top energy-policy adviser to Nevada Democrat and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who helped pass legislation that wound up benefiting the firm.

Jim Manley, a spokesman for Mr. Reid's office, initially defended Mr. Miller's purchase of shares in the company, Energy Conversion Devices Inc. He said the aide had no influence over tax incentives for renewable-energy firms, and that other factors boosted the stock.

But on Sunday, Mr. Manley added: "Mr. Miller showed poor judgment and Senator Reid has made it very clear to Chris and all his staff that their actions must not only follow the law, but must meet the higher standards the public has a right to expect from elected officials and their staffs."

Mr. Miller isn't the only Congressional staffer making such stock bets. , according to a Wall Street Journal analysis of more than 3,000 disclosure forms covering trading activity by Capitol Hill staffers for 2008 and 2009.

The Journal analysis showed that an aide to a Republican member of the Senate Banking Committee bought Bank of America Corp. stock before results of last year's government stress tests eased investor concerns about the health of the banking industry. A top aide to the House Speaker profited by trading shares of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae in a brokerage account with her husband two days before the government authorized emergency funding for the companies. Another aide to Republican lawmakers interested in energy issues, among other things, profited by trading in several renewable-energy firms.

The aides identified by the Journal say they didn't profit by making trades based on any information gathered in the halls of Congress. Even if they had done so, it would be legal, because insider-trading laws don't apply to Congress.

A few lawmakers proposed a bill that would prevent members and employees of Congress from trading securities based on nonpublic information they obtain. The legislation has languished since 2006.

"Congressional staff are often privy to inside information, and an unscrupulous person could profit off that knowledge," says Vincent Morris, a spokesman for Rep. Louise Slaughter (D., N.Y.), a leading backer of the "Stop Trading on Congressional Knowledge Act," or STOCK Act. "The public should be outraged there is no law specifically banning this."

When the bill was introduced nearly five years ago, just 14 other lawmakers endorsed it. The current version of the bill has fared worse: Only nine lawmakers support it. There is no companion legislation in the Senate.

Congressional aides have ringside seats on the making of laws that affect American business. Receiving salaries up to roughly $170,000 a year, they can glean information about policies and government action before the public. They have access to information about hearings or legislation that can move stocks and markets. Link to complete article

Scott Brown....just another self-centered spoiled brat Senator and Harry Reid states no vote before the 4th

Brown remains uncommitted after fix to bank bill

By JIM KUHNHENN (AP) 

WASHINGTON — Despite lawmakers' last-minute change to win his vote, Republican Sen. Scott Brown said Wednesday he needs more time to study a sweeping overhaul of financial regulations before committing his vote.

His stance leaves Democrats short, for now, of the 60 votes they need to overcome procedural hurdles to the bill. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said the Senate will have to wait until after the weeklong July 4 congressional break to take up the bill.

The House was expected to vote on a final, combined House-Senate bill, late Wednesday afternoon.

Congressional Democrats have been inching closer to passage of a major rewrite of financial industry regulations, making fixes as they go in hopes of securing the votes of straying Republicans.

On Tuesday, House and Senate negotiators reconvened to remove a $19 billion fee on large banks and hedge funds after Brown threatened to vote against the bill. Brown, of Massachusetts, supported a Senate version of the bill last month but said he objected to the fee, inserted by negotiators last week.

In a statement Wednesday, Brown said he appreciated the removal of the fee, but said he would review the bill over next week's recess.

"I remain committed to putting in place safeguards to prevent another financial meltdown, ensure that consumers are protected, and that this bill is paid for without new taxes," he said.
Link to article

By Alexander Bolton (The Hill)
Senate Democratic leaders as expected on Wednesday postponed a final vote on Wall Street reform. The Wall Street reform conference report will not pass until Congress returns from the July 4 recess during the week of July 12, Democratic leaders said.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) told reporters Wednesday that Senate procedures would not allow him to bring the bill to the floor on Thursday.

Members of the Senate will be away from Washington on Friday to attend the funeral of Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) in Charleston. “I can’t because I can’t procedurally get to it,” Reid said.

Senate Banking Committee Chairman Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) said that after House approval, the soonest the Wall Street reform could pass the Senate would be Saturday or Sunday.

He expressed concern that some Republicans who are likely to vote for it might change their mind if forced to stay in session into the July 4 weekend to get the bill to President Barack Obama’s desk. Dodd said the House would not likely pass the revised Wall Street reform bill until Thursday.

Final approval of the legislation was slowed by GOP opposition to a proposal to pay for its cost with a nearly $19 billion tax on large financial institutions. Dodd and other negotiators have since changed the legislation, paying for it with a plan to end the Troubled Asset Relief Program several months before its scheduled expiration.

It is unclear whether that change will win the votes of Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) and Maine Republicans Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, who all voted for the Senate's Wall Street reform bill.

Brown issued a non-committal statment on Wednesday. “I appreciate the conference committee revisiting the Wall Street reform bill and removing the $19 billion bank tax," Brown said in the statement. "Over the July recess, I will continue to review this important bill."

Harry Reid and Congress Considers Tax-Credit Extension for "it's all about me" Home Buyers (Wall Street Journal)

By Nick Timiraos

Wall Street Journal

Congress is considering an extension for would-be home buyers who are racing to close home sales in order to receive a federal tax credit.

The real-estate industry has warned that tens of thousands of buyers who rushed to buy homes to qualify might not close before the deadline imposed by Congress, meaning they could miss out on receiving credits worth thousands of dollars without action from Congress.

Congress last fall extended an $8,000 tax credit for first-time home buyers and added a smaller $6,500 credit for current homeowners who were buying a primary residence. To qualify for the credit, buyers had to sign purchase contracts by April 30 and must close on the transaction by June 30.

But there are so many transactions in the pipeline that the companies responsible for handling the sales, including mortgage lenders, appraisers and title insurers and real-estate brokers, say the last-minute home-buying rush in April has created bottlenecks.

On Thursday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) said he would back a measure to extend the June 30 closing date to Sept. 30 for buyers who had met the April contract deadline.

The National Association of Realtors estimates that between 55,000 and 75,000 home buyers who are under contract won't be able to close in time to claim the tax credit. The trade group is lobbying Congress to extend the June 30 deadline only for those buyers who met the April deadline.

"Everybody who got under contract at the end of April deserves to get the tax credit," says Stephen Adamo, president of Weichert Financial Services, a division of real-estate brokerage Weichert Realtors. "For reasons out of their control, they're in jeopardy of losing it."

That is causing heartburn for buyers like Alan Nickelson, a first-time home buyer who went into contract on a three-bedroom home in Kent, Wash., days before the tax-credit deadline in April. While he was pre-approved for a loan and will make a 20% down payment on the $275,000 home, he says the transaction has been held up because of home inspections and work repairs required by the appraiser.

Mr. Nickelson says it is "entirely possible" that he will miss out on the tax credit. He says he would have bought the home anyway but that he planned to use the $8,000 credit to offset repair costs. "It was icing on the cake, but it was really sweet icing," says the 52-year-old machinist.

One particular worry is that short sales, where a lender allows a home to sell for less than the amount owed, won't receive requisite approvals in time to meet the closing deadline. Unlike normal sales where only two parties—the buyer and the seller—negotiate the price, short sales are more time-consuming affairs because they require note-holders to agree on price.

An extension would benefit Kalliopi Michalopoulou, a first-time home buyer who went into contract in February and agreed to put 25% down on a $580,000 three-bedroom cooperative apartment in Upper Manhattan. Her pre-approval for the loan expired last month after renovations took longer than expected to complete.

"I'm so close to canceling now the contract because I'm so upset," she says. "If I knew I was going to get the tax credit, I wouldn't mind that much. But this feels like a punishment."


Link to the "I am Entitled article"

Grandpa:
"Everybody who got under contract at the end of April deserves to get the tax credit...". SAY WHAT! Deserves to get the tax credit!! Ask the closest grandchild what they think about having the debt plastered to their back. The program was extended and expanded back in November of 2009. If it took one 5 months to complete a purchase agreement, cut me some slack!

He says he would have bought the home anyway but that he planned to use the $8,000 credit to offset repair costs. "It was icing on the cake, but it was really sweet icing...". If you want icing on your cake, go to a bakery!

...short sales are more time-consuming. Really?? So you want a screaming deal, a tax credit and our children and grandchildren to shoulder the burden because the short sale is not proceeding as smoothly and timely as you desired!

Her pre-approval for the loan expired last month after renovations took longer than expected to complete. "I'm so close to canceling now the contract because I'm so upset," she says. "If I knew I was going to get the tax credit, I wouldn't mind that much. But this feels like a punishment." PUNISHMENT? How nice to be you and the center of the universe! Punishment is standing in the corner, going to bed without dinner, being grounded or on the receiving end of a deserved spanking!

Harry Reid has raised more than $42 million (Report by The Center for Public Integrity)

Great job by The Center for Public Integrity. If you have not visited their site, do so. If your primary news source is CNBC, this would explain why you feel like you are in the dark.

 Who Bankrolls Congress
Link to website

A former professional gambler, a taxi company magnate, a telecommunications lobbyist, and a giant tobacco company are among the top lifetime givers to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, 70, of Nevada, who faces the toughest re-election race of his political career.

Those are the results of the Center for Public Integrity’s review of CQ MoneyLine information on Reid’s contribution history for campaign accounts and leadership PACs, dating back to his first successful congressional campaign in 1982. The Center’s inquiry marks the first in a series of stories on the top donors to Congressional leadership. Future articles will analyze the fundraising records of Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Minority Leader John Boehner.

In Nevada’s rough-and-tumble politics, Reid’s top backers include a heavy dose of the Nevada business community, especially in the casino and land development areas, and the telecommunications industry. Those business interests are balanced by sizeable support from organized labor and trial lawyers.

That 1982 campaign for the House cost Reid just over $500,000. How times have changed. With a hotly contested re-election battle on the horizon this November, Reid’s campaign committee spent more than eight times that amount in 2009 alone.

All told, Reid has raised more than $42 million over nearly three decades, including more than $6.5 million for the federal version of his leadership PAC, the Searchlight Leadership Fund. Representing a swing state like Nevada — in four of the last five presidential elections the state has been won by a margin of less than four points — Reid has needed almost every penny. The former middleweight boxer is currently in the political fight of his life, trailing in virtually every public poll when matched up against his likely November opponents.

But he has also earned the appreciation of his Senate Democratic caucus colleagues by spreading his wealth around; he has helped ensure their loyalty and a majority by giving contributions from the Searchlight Leadership Fund or his campaign account to all but one of his 56 caucus colleagues with past or current Senate campaigns. Indeed, the only candidate not to receive a contribution from Reid was millionaire Herb Kohl of Wisconsin, who almost entirely self-funds his campaigns.

Of Reid’s $42 million-plus in fundraising, more than $25 million came from individuals. His top five individual donors combined for more than $154,000, or 0.7 percent of Reid’s total all-time contributions from individuals.

More than $14 million of Reid’s overall fundraising came from political committees. Nearly $1 million of that came from just these ten donors, or almost 7 percent of his all-time total.

Jim Manley, a spokesman for Reid, declined to comment for this story, beyond his statement on Krone’s behalf.

Link to list of Harry's top 10 PAC Donors

At least 60% of politicians suffer from Tardive Dyskinesia

Based on "visual" research, grandpa concludes that at least 60% of politicians suffer from Tardive Dyskinesia (tär-div- dys·ki·ne·sia) .
Tardive Dyskinesia:  a neurological disorder characterized by involuntary uncontrollable movements especially of the mouth, tongue, trunk, and limbs and occurring especially as a side effect of prolonged use of antipsychotic drugs.


Symptoms Include:

Involuntary Finger Movements

Facial Grimacing

Lip Pursing

Jaw Movements

Tongue Protrusion

Lip Puckering

Involuntary Movements-Repetitive and Purposeless

Chewing-like Movements

Tongue Movements

Report: Majority Of Government Doesn't Trust Citizens Either (The Onion)

The Onion
WASHINGTON—At a time when widespread polling data suggests that a majority of the U.S. populace no longer trusts the federal government, a Pew Research Center report has found that the vast majority of the federal government doesn't trust the U.S. populace all that much either.

According to the poll—which surveyed members of the judicial, legislative, and executive branches—9 out of 10 government officials reported feeling "disillusioned" by the populace and claimed to have "completely lost confidence" in the citizenry's ability to act in the nation's best interests.

"All the vitriol and partisan bickering in Congress has caused most Americans to form negative opinions of the U.S. government," Pew researcher Amy Ratner said. "However, over the same time period, the government has likewise grown wary of U.S. citizens, largely due to their utter lack of foresight, laziness, and overall incompetence."

Added Ratner, "And the fact that American Idol is still the No. 1 show on television doesn't exactly make our government burst with confidence."

Out of 100 U.S. senators polled, 84 said they don't trust the U.S. populace to do what is right, and 79 said Americans are not qualified to do their jobs. Ninety-one percent of all government officials polled said they find citizens to be every bit as irresponsible, greedy, irrational, and selfishly motivated as government officials are.

Moreover, according to nearly 100 percent of respondents, Wal-Mart.

"It makes complete sense for Americans to lose faith in a government that has allowed lobbyists and special interests to take over Washington," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told reporters. "That being said, you could see why Washington might likewise lose faith in a populace that apparently still suspects that its president is a secret Muslim who was not born in the United States."

Citing the billions of dollars wasted annually on flavored water and boneless buffalo wings, the number of drunk-driving deaths each year, and the lack of citizen accountability for the rise of Kim Kardashian, government officials registered extremely low opinions of the American people overall.

"This is the same American populace that failed to prevent us from deregulating the banks that almost caused a complete economic meltdown last year," Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) said. "Year after year, they elect terrible officials who make terrible decisions on their behalf. The fact that I, Jim Bunning, am a two-term U.S. senator really shows you just how far Americans have gone off the rails."

"I wouldn't trust anyone who voted me into office," he added.

Government skepticism is not confined to legislators, though. A cross-sampling of the U.S. Supreme Court found that only 1 in 9 justices believe the general populace to be ethical. Their confidence that the American people can resist consuming the newest Burger King sandwich just because it's there or at least keep it to one a week has also fallen to a 10-year low.

"They can't even fill out their census forms, for crying out loud," Gov. Butch Otter of Idaho said. "It's only 10 questions long. We're not talking about taking the SATs here. Jesus Christ, don't get me started on the SATs."

One typical respondent, President Barack Obama, said he found it hard to trust the judgment of U.S. citizens after recent events, including their decision to elect a president who promised health care reform and then come out against health care reform.

"How can I have hope for a nation that regularly protests tax cuts that directly benefit them?" Obama said. "Look, I'm not always perfect at my job, either, but I think I could make a halfway coherent comment on a YouTube video if I had to. Isn't that basically all they do?

Added Obama, "At this point, the only positive thing I can say about the American people is that I'm pretty sure they've never rigged an election in their favor."

Sunday Comics

Turbo Tax Timmy Geithner: An early start to 2009 tax preparation.

Barney and Nancy-Date Night


Grover Muldoon to George Caldwell (Silverstreak); What, you afraid it won't come off"?

Harry, Harry, Harry.."no negro dialect". You and Geithner share a cab on your way out of town.


"Dodd, its 3 steps back, I am the Speaker of the House and I am not leaving"!